Self Love or Selfishness?

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Self love is a common word which various things are categorised within. Self love is a term used to support the idea of doing something good for yourself. One might find soothing a simple task such as a walk in the park, while for someone else means partying all night. The idea behind it is to fuel up yourself with positive energy to be able to cope with the stressful life we most live in.

However, lately our society has tagged many self love things as a justification of selfishness. Prioritizing your needs and what you deserve is vital, however, not when it comes at the cost of causing discomfort to others. Especially if you can help it not to happen.

Self love doesn’t justify being selfish or mean. You cannot justify something which leaves others astray or which brings negativity into someone else’s life as self love. We do have responsibility toward other people and we can’t disregard that by doing things for our own gain, without giving explanations or answers of our behaviour. Doing what you want rather than what you have responsibility to do isn’t practicing self love. Do not use this powerful word to excuse selfish behaviour. You are simply choosing to do what you want without worrying about how much hurt it will cause. Especially if you know what the consequences of your actions will be.

Giving priority to yourself is important and healthy. Taking decisions which let you live a happy life are important too, thus this means you do so in a reasonable way.

If you need to cut off a relationship, be clear about it, keep up with your decisions and give answers for your actions. Even if your answers may cause anger to the other person, it is still better than letting someone waiting for a conclusive answer. If you feel that certain things are bothering you, talk about it, state what your actions will be if nothing is improved, but ghosting others or simple show up not being your true self is not acceptable.

When asked why you are acting in a certain way, be truthful, no matter what the outcome will be. The other end deserves the truth and you deserve the peace of mind that you are offering a transparent connection without lies or half truths.

Self love is such an important and amazing thing, a person who practices the real self love will surely not be able to act selfishly towards others.

(Image Credit: Terence Falzon)


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Believe In Yourself – Never Give Up!

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When I embarked on my journey for a Degree in Nursing as a mature student 4 years ago, I must admit I was pretty sure I wouldn’t make it past the interview phase.

I had zero self confidence. I did not believe in myself. Not at all. But there were a few individuals around me who did believe in me. And so, although I couldn’t see a possibility, I tried. I applied. I attended…and I passed the interview phase.

When I was asked to sit for an English Proficiency Test, I walked in, terrified, trembling. My mouth dried up…I could probably use an IV infusion at that time! And when we were asked to start writing, I could hear other students starting to write frantically on their exam papers while I had to close my eyes and calm my heart’s drastically increasing rate through deep breathing. It took me probably about 5 minutes to start writing…but I did it. I finished on time. And I passed.

When I stepped in a lecture room at the University of Malta for the first time at 37 years old after being accepted to take the 5 year long course, I wanted to do my best to sink into the seat I was sitting on, hoping that I would blend in or even better, go unnoticed amongst all the other students, most of who were the same age as my oldest daughter.

But day by day, the course started changing me.

Now, 4 years later, I can affirm I’ve probably been one of the biggest butt-pains my amazing lecturers have experienced so far (some of them know this…I’ve literally told them so because I feel it’s true!!).

Asking questions following deep reflections has become the norm for me. I no longer sink into my seat…I don’t mind speaking up anymore. I don’t mind advocating for others, be it students, patients, or anyone in need of support for a good cause.

A new challenge is now coming up…speaking up on a broader spectrum – speaking up with the aim of breaking health-related taboos that we still are dealing with here in Malta.

I know beyond doubt that this is going to be quite a tough challenge for me, yet I am ready to face it. For even as a registered nurse, in 2 years’ time I want to have enough experience to be a better advocate for my patients, both on an individual level, and if necessary, even on a larger scale. I want to be the voice of those who haven’t yet found theirs…who are still in the same spot I was 4 years ago, just sinking in my seat to avoid being seen.

Never did I imagine I could be where I am today, and for this I can only humbly thank those who believed in me when I didn’t, as well as all the lovely lecturers and academics at UM who were willing to listen and to encourage me from the very beginning to always speak up whenever I deem necessary.

One final piece of advice… It is NEVER TOO LATE to start something new! Believe in yourself and when hurdles pop up, jump. If you fall, get back up, dust yourself off and retry…keep trying until you make it through!


You too can be all you have ever wanted to be. You have all the potential you need to be or have whatever you wish.

Are you ready to turn your dreams into reality?

Acknowledge your power! Believe in yourself! YOU are the sole creator of your life! Start living the Life of your Dreams today!

5 Simple Steps To Creating The Life Of Your Dreams

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Luck – “Am I Lucky or Unlucky?”

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If you had to ask me how to define luck, I would say luck is made up of opportunity and preparation.

Some people blame genetics, others blame lack of money and million other things why they are not succeeding in getting what they want. The truth is: none of us are more or less lucky than anyone else. It all depends how we are prepared to see opportunities.

Let’s take a step further to see what opportunities are.

A while ago a friend told me that she is buying a particular car. All of a sudden while driving through the streets I started noticing all the similar cars she told me about. Why?? Because my mind was prepared to notice. Same thing is for opportunities, they are there but if you are not prepared to notice them you will not see them and think they don’t exist for you.

If you are capable to notice two opportunities then you think only those two options exist for you. If you open up to be prepared to other opportunities then you are unstoppable.

The next step you might be asking yourself now is, how to be prepared. Here are a few tips:

Be open to meet up new people

Meeting new people will help you to view other lifestyles from which you can learn.

Don’t be judgemental

Do not judge others when you see they are different from you. Every life path has its beauty. See the beauty in different views of life.

Read

Always take some time to read even if it is a small newspaper article. It will help you keep your mind active.

Exercise regularly

Find some time for yourself to move. Our bodies need the endorphins released by exercising. This will help you look at life in a positive way.

Say something nice to yourself every single day

Complement yourself every day. Your body needs your mind approval, it keep your physical and mental health in harmony.

Do not compare yourself to others

Everyone is different, although you might be inspired by others, do not make their journey yours to follow. We are all different and that’s what makes us beautiful.

Luck is only needed when you play bingo or take a lottery ticket. The day to day life is what we believe we can achieve and what is possible for us to accomplish.

No dream is too big if you are prepared to work for it.


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Mature Nursing Student – Should I Go Back To Study After So Long?

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A mature nursing student life can be quite exciting! Getting back to the classrooms, the benches, following lectures, taking notes, learning how to retain information again (especially if life has left an impact on your memory capacity) can sometimes make a mature nursing student wonder if doing it all over again is truly possible. Add to that a family to keep up with, cooking preparations, the never-ending laundry, housekeeping…but let me tell you this, going back to study as a mature nursing student is indeed possible! Read on, I will be sharing with you why it is possible and what you can do to make it work, all based on my personal experience.

Applying for a Degree as a Mature Nursing Student

Back when I was 18 years old I had to stop studying to raise my first child. It didn’t affect me much at the time, but with every year that passed I kept wishing that the time would maybe come again for me to resume my studies. It was always my wish to follow a degree and eventually graduate.

Life goes on, and eventually I had another two children. The dream still lingered on in my mind, but there was not much I could do at the time. Life with three children is definitely not easy. A lot of responsibilities, a lot of advice, a lot of messes to clean up, unlimited stress, financial strain…

However in early summer of 2019 I discovered that the University of Malta offers a Degree programme in Nursing at Part Time level. Instead of the usual 3 years to graduate, this course provided the exact same course of study but spread over 5 years. That was the day that for the first time in years I experienced a new sense of excitement!

Although I didn’t have any previous knowledge in the Biology field, I sent an application and was called in for an interview. I remember clearly all the emotions I felt on the day in front of 3 interviewers. I was so excited, I had so much I wanted to say but didn’t due to the mix of emotions. A sense of hopelessness washed over me for the next weeks. I was afraid that during the interview I could have possibly sabotaged my own chance of going back to study. But the day came when I got a letter saying I had been accepted!

My Personal Experience as a Mature Nursing Student

Being a mature nursing student has given me a new perspective to the word ‘study’. You see, throughout my school days I was constantly bullied, I barely had any friends, I spent my break time hiding in the school chapel, and I couldn’t speak up without having tears flowing out from my eyes. My self esteem was a total mess.

It is amazing how time and experiences change a person. Going back to study as a mature nursing student, I no longer feel shy to speak up, I ask questions whenever I feel the need to, I have friends and truly enjoy the time I spend with my cohort colleagues, but most importantly, I am enjoying all the learning that is being presented to me thanks to the amazing lecturers we have at the Faculty of Health Sciences, University of Malta. All the staff and academics at our Faculty are wonderfully helpful and understanding, ready to listen to our queries and to try to accommodate our concerns as much as possible.

As a mature nursing student, I know what I want from life, I know where I am heading, and I am ready to do whatever it takes to get there. This includes letting go of other hobbies to focus on what matters the most at this time – study, and study hard!

Having a 5 year old who still wakes up multiple times at night and who is also quite active doesn’t help much. The best solution I found is to study after she sleeps. This usually gives me an average of 3-5 hours of study. I make sure I do this for at least 4-5 times a week. This gives me ample time to revise all the content given, to research further on the topics being covered, and at times to watch videos about related nursing skills.

The secret to being a successful mature nursing student is to seek what works best for you…

The secret to being a successful mature nursing student is to seek what works best for you in terms of learning methods. Personally I learn mostly through research and thorough understanding of rationales. Knowing exactly why something is done in one way but not in the other helps me understand and remember information better. Creating flashcards with nursing terms has also been quite effective for me as well.

Additional Advice

  • Seek help. If you have other commitments or a family to take care of, do not be afraid to ask for help. Evaluate all the people within your close circle, see who is truly being supportive of you going back to study, and ask for help.
  • Be aware of any local support systems available to mature students. I have personally been making use of an after-school club for children, which is offered to working parents and students. Whilst this may require a small fee, it could be quite worthwhile.
  • Do not let the fear of taking the time off from your family for yourself get in your way. Sometimes as mature students we tend to let unreasonable guilt take over us. It happened to me too, but let me tell you, I just finished my first year out of five, and my daughters have been impacted positively seeing their mother get back to studying! Happy mum, happy kids! It has also given them a sense of courage and determination, their grades have overall improved, and they are becoming even more responsible.
  • Learn what works for you best in terms of study. If it’s reading that helps you, read more. If it’s videos you learn from, see more. If it’s writing that helps, write more. Whatever it is, do more of it, but always apply the same principles that your lecturers pass onto you. Seek reliable sources, and where possible, recent ones.
  • Do your best! You are human after all. Do whatever you can so you don’t have any regrets (as with anything, not just with study). But always be understanding and compassionate with yourself as well. Do not beat yourself up if you get a lower grade than expected. Instead seek ways to do better next time.

Last piece of advice (and most probably the most important one of all)…

When you believe in yourself, everything becomes possible and nothing will hold you back to achieve your dreams. You can do whatever you set your mind on. Believe in you and in the ability and the valuable asset that you can be as a mature nursing student. Be who you are and let your true self shine! You can do this!

Are you a mature student too? Share your experience by commenting below or fill in the contact me form 🙂


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